The One Phrase Experts Recommend Saying Every Day to Be Happier
The way we speak influences our emotional state much more than we might realize. According to the Royal Spanish Academy (RAE), happiness is defined as: “A state of deep spiritual and physical satisfaction.” Synonyms include joy, well-being, fortune, prosperity, and contentment—all things many people strive for in life. However, achieving happiness isn’t always easy. Illness, financial struggles, personal losses, and daily stressors can prevent us from fully experiencing happiness, making it seem utopian or unattainable at times. But here’s the good news: Happiness can become a more frequent part of our daily lives—even if not constantly, at least more often than we might expect. How Language Shapes Our Happiness One powerful way to increase happiness is through conscious language shifts—both in how we speak to others and how we talk to ourselves. Neil Pasricha, author and director of The Institute of Global Happiness, emphasizes that the first step toward happiness and positivity is paying attention to the words we use. Alongside psychologist Leslie Richardson, he has identified the phrases most commonly used by happy people. Here are the top ones: 1️⃣ “Tell me more.” When used in conversations, this phrase signals genuine interest in what the other person is saying. Simply showing curiosity and attentiveness can make interactions more fulfilling and meaningful. 2️⃣ “I can.” This small shift in language changes our perception of responsibility and choice. Instead of saying:🚫 “I have to” Try:✅ “I can.” This subtle change removes the sense of obligation and reframes tasks as choices rather than burdens. Why does this matter?Because feeling in control of our decisions makes us feel happier and more empowered. 3️⃣ “Rose, Thorn, Bud.” 🌹🗡🌱 This isn’t a phrase to say out loud but rather a mindset tool for processing daily experiences. Why does this help?It encourages us to: 4️⃣ “Yet.” Simply adding the word “yet” to a sentence can transform our mindset. 🚫 “I can’t do this.”✅ “I can’t do this… yet.” 🚫 “I haven’t succeeded.”✅ “I haven’t succeeded… yet.” This single word fosters hope and perseverance, reminding us that challenges are temporary and growth is always possible. 5️⃣ “I will focus on…” In a world of constant stress and distractions, knowing how to prioritize is key to happiness. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by everything at once, shift your thinking: 🚫 “I have so much to do.”✅ “I will focus on [one task] right now.” This helps: 6️⃣ “Will this matter in a year?” When faced with stressful or frustrating situations, this question brings perspective. Why is this effective?Because it reduces emotional reactivity and helps us let go of unnecessary worries. Final Thoughts These simple language shifts can have a huge impact on our well-being. By consciously choosing words that encourage positivity, resilience, and meaningful connections, we can: ✅ Improve relationships✅ Increase optimism✅ Reduce stress✅ Boost happiness So, start today—practice using these phrases, and notice how they transform your mindset and emotional well-being!
From Loving Yourself More to Loving Yourself Better: How Words Influence Emotional Well-Being
“I was lucky to choose to love myself at the last moment. And now, thanks to that, I’ve learned that not waiting until the last minute when it comes to self-love is absolutely necessary and important. Never stop loving yourself. Don’t put yourself on hold. If your life depends on it… so be it.” This excerpt from Brillo por tu ausencia (Shining Through Your Absence), the latest poetry prose book by writer Lae Sánchez (@laesanchezg), is a clear reminder that words matter—especially when it comes to mental health. Loving yourself is the key to everything, but as Sánchez explains, it’s not just about self-love in any form—it’s about loving yourself well. Or better yet, loving yourself better. Better every day. Shifting from “Love Yourself More” to “Love Yourself Better” This is exactly the theme Sánchez presents in her talk, “Don’t Just Love Yourself More, Love Yourself Better,” which inaugurates Formentera Zen—an event dedicated to enhancing emotional well-being, organized by the Tourism Board of Formentera and Puro Bienestar. During the event (held May 17–19 at the Gecko Hotel & Beach Club in Formentera), the author will focus on self-love, self-care, self-esteem, and personal growth. However, she clarifies that her approach is not therapeutic but inspirational, drawn from her experience in poetry prose rather than psychology. “I am not a psychologist, and I am the first to seek professional help for personal growth. But what I do want to convey is that we often prioritize quantity over quality, and we mistakenly think that more is better,” she explains. Her message is an invitation to self-respect, self-awareness, and learning to set boundaries—both with oneself and with others. She emphasizes organizing personal values based on what we learn over time. To support this, she turns to a set of principles from Brillo por tu ausencia, which she describes as a reminder to nurture self-love—the piece that holds the rest of life’s mechanisms together. Some of these guiding principles include: ✔️ Being patient with yourself✔️ Paying attention to small details✔️ Celebrating life✔️ Apologizing—yes, even to yourself✔️ Letting go when necessary✔️ Remembering that family and friends are what truly matter✔️ Asking yourself the questions that bring happiness✔️ Valuing time✔️ Trusting yourself Authenticity vs. Social Media Perfection Another key theme in Sánchez’s work is the importance of “living from within” and learning to be happy without feeling the need to tell the world about it. This is especially relevant today, where social media often only highlights the positive aspects of life. “We are all authentic, and maintaining that authenticity is crucial,” Sánchez explains. “Many people share images of a perfect life on social media, showing only their ‘highlight reel’ while hiding the ‘behind-the-scenes’ reality. But real life has ups and downs—just like everyone else’s. This can create frustration both for those posting and for those consuming that content.” Through her own journey, she has learned to validate emotions that are often less visible, like sadness, and in doing so, she has become more understanding of others’ emotions as well. “How many times have we told a friend to ‘stop complaining’ because we thought their problem wasn’t that serious? But we all have the right to be sad!” she insists. Her solution? Live life without filters or rush. “We chase instant gratification, sharing moments on social media as fast as they disappear in an Instagram story. But this pursuit of immediacy can strip away the essence and authenticity of those moments.” Instead, she encourages learning to be comfortable with oneself before seeking validation from others. “This is the true meaning of ‘being happy without telling anyone.’ Because before knowing what we want in relationships—whether with a partner, friends, or family—we first need to listen to ourselves.” That means understanding how we want to be treated, what we’re willing to give, and what boundaries we need to set for our relationships to truly support our well-being. The Power of Words in Self-Talk So, how do words and the way we speak to ourselves impact our well-being? It’s all about perspective. Sánchez shares her own learning process—giving herself time and space to manage anxiety and seeing reality more clearly. She proposes a two-part reflection: 1️⃣ First, ask yourself:“If I could decide how I want to be remembered, would I want people to remember me for who I am, how I treat others, and what I contribute? Or would I rather be remembered for what I have, what I achieve, or what I earn?” Most people, she says, would choose the first option. 2️⃣ Then, take it one step further:“How do I value myself? Do I measure my worth by who I am and how I treat others, or by what I accomplish?” Often, our self-talk is so demanding that it breaks us down instead of building us up. She illustrates this with the story of André Agassi, the tennis champion who—despite achieving immense success—eventually admitted in his autobiography that he hated the sport and wanted to quit. Before one of his finals, he stood in the shower, watching the water run over him, thinking: “Hate brings me to my knees. Love lifts me up.” For Sánchez, this proves one thing: “The mind can be our greatest ally or our greatest enemy—it can destroy us or elevate us. That’s why it’s so important to listen to ourselves, not just in our thoughts, but in the way we speak to ourselves.” “The starting point for everything—the ‘zero kilometer’—is self-love. From there, we can learn to truly respect others as well.” The Importance of Self-Love in Childhood and Adolescence This lesson is especially critical during vulnerable life stages, such as childhood and adolescence. “Children absorb everything,” Sánchez emphasizes. That’s why it’s important to nurture their confidence through the relationships we build with them, the way we speak to them, and how they learn to speak to themselves. One practical exercise for improving self-talk is setting aside time each day—however little you can spare—to prioritize yourself. Ask yourself: “What do I feel like
A Psychologist Reveals the Five Secrets to Good Mental Health
Good mental health is a key factor in feeling happy, connected to others, and finding meaning in life. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, practicing gratitude, contributing to society, and engaging in activities you enjoy—whether alone or with others—can all help cultivate strong mental well-being. Being mentally healthy means being at peace with yourself, approaching problems with a solution-focused mindset, and seeing the brighter side of life. Psychologist Ana Belén Medialdea, a strong advocate of doing what feels right and beneficial, has her daily non-negotiables when it comes to mental well-being. “There are five things I encourage everyone to keep in mind. Try to do at least three of them each day. Practicing these habits is crucial for reducing daily stress levels.” Five Antidotes to Stress Why should we avoid chronic stress? Because constant stress raises cortisol levels, triggering hormonal imbalances that can affect the body in many ways. These are Ana Belén Medialdea’s five tips for achieving good mental health: 1. Prioritize Rest “If you wake up feeling exhausted and unrested, this is the first issue you need to address—whether through natural methods or medical support,” warns Medialdea. Lack of sleep leads to: Getting quality rest is essential for mental balance and emotional well-being. 2. Take Care of Your Diet “I always mention this when talking about non-negotiables because so many people tell me they eat in just ten minutes to save time. This may not be a big deal once in a while, but making it a habit is unhealthy,” explains Medialdea. While it’s important to be mindful of what we eat, obsessing over food can also be problematic. Her advice? Enjoy balanced eating habits, but allow yourself small indulgences—for example, treating yourself to an ice cream when the weather is nice. 3. Move Your Body This doesn’t mean committing to a full workout routine—it simply means finding ways to move throughout the day. Some simple changes include: “When we move our bodies, we release cortisol—the hormone responsible for stress and anxiety. This simple habit can significantly improve our mental state,” says Medialdea. 4. Allow Yourself Moments of Doing Nothing In our fast-paced, always-busy world, finding a moment to pause and do nothing is a luxury. Medialdea encourages deliberate mental breaks, where you simply let your mind rest without the pressure of productivity. “Don’t use this time thinking, ‘I should do something productive.’ Instead, just let your mind relax,” she emphasizes. 5. End the Day with Something That Brings You Joy This simple yet powerful habit involves ending your day by doing something small that makes you happy. “We often do things for others but forget to give ourselves a little moment of joy,” says Medialdea. It could be: For her, it’s a warm decaf coffee with a piece of chocolate dipped into it—a small but satisfying ritual. Final Thoughts Mental health is built through daily habits. By incorporating at least three of these five simple practices into your routine, you can reduce stress, improve mood, and feel more balanced in everyday life. Your well-being is worth it. 4o
STRESSED? SOCIALIZE!
Restlessness, tension, loss of sleep, aches and pains, lack of energy, high blood pressure, exhaustion, irritability… You’ve probably felt it before—during moments of high anxiety, the mere presence of a friend can relax and calm you down. Well, Rebeca Turner, a psychologist from the California School of Psychology, has scientifically proven this effect. It all comes down to oxytocin, a hormone with proven stress-reducing effects. And guess what? Oxytocin levels are significantly higher when you’re in the company of a friend, a family member, or your partner. So, relax… Call that person today and invite them for a cup of coffee. ☕
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? BENEFITS AND INSIGHTS ON CRYING
Crying is a natural human response to a wide range of emotions, including sadness, pain, joy, and frustration. But does crying offer any health benefits? Interestingly, humans are the only animals that cry. This article explores why we cry and how crying might benefit our health. Undoubtedly, 2020—with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic—gave us more than enough reasons to cry. However, even before last year, it seems we were crying quite frequently. Crying is not unusual, and both men and women cry more often than people might assume. In the United States, women cry an average of 3.5 times per month, while men cry an average of 1.9 times per month. These figures might surprise us, especially because society has often viewed crying—especially among men—as a sign of weakness and lack of emotional strength. Not all tears are the same Sometimes, crying can be exactly what the doctor ordered. In fact, some psychologists suggest that we might be doing ourselves a disservice if we don’t cry regularly. “Crying activates the body in a healthy way,” says Dr. Stephen Sideroff, a clinical psychologist at UCLA and director of the Raoul Wallenberg Institute of Ethics. “Letting down your guard and defenses and [crying] is something very positive and healthy. The same thing happens when you watch a movie that moves you to tears. That process of opening yourself up… it’s like a lock and a key.” The Japanese believe so strongly in the health benefits of crying that they have taken this wisdom to the next level. In some Japanese cities, “crying clubs” called ruikatsu (which literally means “seeking tears”) allow people to gather and cry together in a traditional way. (Participants watch tear-jerking movies to help the tears flow.) The idea? Crying relieves stress and is a great practice for maintaining mental health. Is crying beneficial for your health? 1. It has a calming effect Crying helps regulate and soothe emotions while reducing distress. A 2014 study conducted by researchers from the University of Rijeka (Croatia), the University of Pittsburgh (USA), and Tilburg University (Netherlands) explains how crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps people relax. 2. It helps you get support from others In addition to helping people self-soothe, crying can help them receive support from those around them. Crying is primarily an attachment behavior, as it gathers support from people in our surroundings. This is known as an interpersonal or social benefit. 3. It helps relieve pain Beyond self-soothing, shedding emotional tears releases oxytocin and endorphins. These chemicals make people feel good and can also relieve both physical and emotional pain. In this way, crying reduces pain and promotes a sense of well-being. 4. It improves mood Crying can help lift a person’s mood and make them feel better. In addition to relieving pain, oxytocin and endorphins help improve mood, which is why they are often referred to as “feel-good chemicals.” Pop culture has long recognized the value of a good cry as a way to feel better—even as a physically pleasurable experience. Millions of people who have watched classic tearjerker movies can likely attest to this. 5. It releases toxins and relieves stress When humans cry in response to stress, their tears contain a variety of stress hormones and other chemicals. It is believed that crying may reduce the levels of these chemicals in the body, which in turn could lower stress levels. However, more research is needed to confirm this theory. 6. It helps with sleep A 2015 study found that crying helps babies sleep better. It has yet to be determined whether crying has the same sleep-enhancing effects on adults. However, given its calming, mood-boosting, and pain-relieving effects, crying may help people fall asleep more easily. 7. It improves vision There are three types of tears: The first two categories serve the essential function of removing debris (such as smoke and dust) from our eyes and lubricating them to prevent infections. Their composition is 98% water. The third category, emotional tears—which remove stress hormones and toxins from our system—offers the greatest potential health benefits. Do men cry? In many cultures around the world, it is taboo for men to cry, especially in public. Many people still believe that men should be stoic and show little or no emotion. As a result of this stigma, many men believe it is not okay to cry and suppress their emotions—choosing to only cry in private or not at all. The result? Men grow up repressing their emotions, which distances them emotionally from loved ones and often leads to unhealthy coping mechanisms that affect their ability to build relationships with others. Final Thoughts From an early age, it is important to teach children that expressing emotions is healthy. Allowing children to express their pain in a safe environment teaches them that their natural reaction—crying—is healthy and acceptable. As adult men, this can become a more common (and necessary) form of emotional expression. Crying is not a sign of weakness—it is a natural and beneficial way to process emotions, relieve stress, and improve overall well-being.
THE FLOW STATE: WHAT IT IS AND HOW IT CAN POSITIVELY IMPACT EVERYTHING YOU DO
What is the flow state? If you’ve ever felt completely absorbed in something, you may have experienced a mental state that psychologists call flow. Achieving this state can help people feel more enjoyment, energy, and engagement. Imagine for a moment that you are running a race. Your attention is focused on the movements of your body, the power of your muscles, the strength of your lungs, and the sensation of the pavement beneath your feet. You are living in the moment, completely absorbed in the activity. Time seems to disappear. You’re tired, but you barely notice it. This is an example of flow state. One of the best feelings when working is being in your peak performance mode—where work feels effortless, everything else disappears, and even your sense of time fades away. That peak performance moment has a name: the flow state. When you’re in a flow state, productivity and creativity skyrocket, and you can accomplish amazing work with ease. Fortunately, reaching this optimal state is not as difficult as it seems. Certain practices can help you achieve it. Flow is a mental state in which a person is fully immersed in an activity. The positive psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi describes flow as a state of total absorption in an activity. Being immersed can be defined as a state of deep concentration, where a person is entirely focused and engrossed in their work. When we enter a flow state, our mind is fully engaged in the task at hand in a way that frees up other parts of our brain to make new connections. Even though you’re working, flow is inherently restorative and enjoyable. How does the flow state occur, and how can you achieve it? Thanks to modern neuroscience, we now understand a distinct pattern in the brain that triggers the flow state. Flow states are induced through the interaction of five different neurotransmitters in the human brain. The 5 neurotransmitters behind flow state: In summary, these five chemicals form the brain science behind flow states. So the next time you experience a deep state of focus, you’ll understand the powerful science behind this incredible tool that exists within you. How can you achieve the flow state? Once you understand how flow works, you can structure your schedule and work environment to make it as conducive to flow as possible. Here is a guide to entering the flow state more often and maintaining it: 1. Choose clear goals Part of entering flow state involves working on a task with a specific, defined outcome. You’ll find it easier to reach the right mental state when you know exactly what you’re working on, which gives you a sense of control. 2. Make it challenging Activities that strike the right balance between challenge and skill are the most engaging. If you can’t modify the task itself, you can change other factors to make it more challenging. Finding ways to make a routine task more difficult makes it more enjoyable. 3. Facilitate concentration Take time to review your schedule and block out periods where you can work without distractions. You may want to schedule these sessions based on certain activities or at times of the day when you are naturally more productive and alert. 4. Take care of yourself When in flow state, you might forget to eat, drink water, sleep, or even notice how long you’ve been sitting in the same position. While this may help maintain focus, it is not optimal for your body. Create self-care routines to help you stay comfortable so you can stay in flow longer. Keep water and protein bars near your workspace to avoid interruptions. 5. Turn off your phone Eliminating distractions includes turning off your phone. However, this deserves its own category because blocking out time is useless if you carry a distraction in your pocket. Once you’ve communicated that you’ll be unavailable for a set period, turn off notifications and put your phone away. Final Thoughts The image below clearly shows the correlation between the level of challenge in an activity and the skills required to perform it. When both are maximized, we reach the peak of the flow state. By understanding the science behind flow and applying the right techniques, you can enhance productivity, creativity, and overall well-being in everything you do.
TRAPPED BY YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS? WHAT THEY ARE AND 4 TIPS TO ERADICATE THEM
What is a limiting belief? A limiting belief is a thought or mental state that you perceive as absolute truth, preventing you from doing certain things. These beliefs don’t always have to be about yourself. They can be about how the world works, ideas, or how you interact with people. Overcoming limiting beliefs is not always easy. They are deeply ingrained in us, often from childhood. But once you understand what they are and how to identify them, you can learn how to overcome them. Where do limiting beliefs come from? Your limiting beliefs come from many different sources. To overcome limiting beliefs, we need to understand that their origins are diverse. They may stem from family beliefs, values, or behaviors, your educational environment (teachers, classmates), life experiences, or even the influence of dominant personalities among close friends. How can you manage limiting beliefs? There are many different approaches to addressing limiting beliefs. The well-known author Tony Robbins identifies four key steps to managing them: 1. IDENTIFY YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS The first step in overcoming limiting beliefs is to define and identify them. Limiting beliefs are ideas we hold about ourselves and the world that prevent us from becoming the best version of ourselves. They generally fall into four categories: These are beliefs about “how things are” and the assumption that your circumstances are beyond your control. A common limiting belief is lack of time. Other limiting beliefs about the world include denial, such as “True love doesn’t exist” or “Fulfilling careers are impossible to find.” Changing these beliefs is one of the hardest things to do, but once you do, you’ll unlock unimaginable possibilities. Limiting beliefs about others involve worrying about what people think of you. The underlying belief behind social anxiety is often: “People will think I am X.” Perfectionism also stems from this type of limiting belief—the belief that others will be disappointed in you or won’t love you if you don’t act a certain way. Unlike worrying about others’ opinions, self-limiting beliefs occur when you believe you are inherently incompetent, unintelligent, or unworthy of love. Other common limiting beliefs about yourself include thinking you’re too old, too unattractive, or incapable of learning new skills. None of these are facts. They are simply the story you tell yourself—and you can change it. Would it surprise you to learn that some limiting beliefs feel empowering? Believing that the world owes you something, that you are better than others, or that people simply don’t “understand” you are often excuses to avoid growth and stay in your comfort zone. 2. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY The #1 reason people fail to achieve their goals is because they don’t take full responsibility for their actions. They choose to believe that their circumstances are beyond their control, that things just happen to them. This is called external locus of control, and it is, in itself, a limiting belief. To learn how to overcome your limiting beliefs, you must develop an internal locus of control—the belief that things in life happen for you, not to you. Ultimately, your own behavior determines your destiny. Life is full of events beyond our control, but what we can control is how we react to them. We can master our emotions, learn from failures, make smarter decisions, and work toward our goals—no matter what happens. 3. LET GO OF CERTAINTY Why is it so hard to overcome limiting beliefs? Because we all crave certainty. It is one of the Six Core Human Needs (the others being: variety/uncertainty, significance, love/connection, growth/development, and contribution). A little certainty brings comfort and stability to our lives. But it can also hold you back. Certainty is what stops you from quitting the job you hate. It is what keeps you in unhealthy relationships—whether with a partner, friends, or even family. It is why you never took that trip to Africa or wrote that novel. Certainty kills dreams, and limiting beliefs are its best friend. Instead of focusing on what you’ll never do, dream big. Use the Rocking Chair Test: “When you’re old and gray, looking back on your life, what will you regret the most?” That is a powerful motivator to overcome limiting beliefs. 4. CHANGE YOUR INNER DIALOGUE Your limiting beliefs often exist deep in your subconscious, but more often than not, it’s negative self-talk that convinces you why you can’t, won’t, or shouldn’t do something. Self-talk is constant, and the more we tell ourselves something, the more we believe it. Humans have thousands—perhaps even tens of thousands—of thoughts every day. If even a small percentage of them involve limiting beliefs, that’s a constant stream of negative messaging running through your mind. How to change your inner dialogue: Final Thoughts Learning to get rid of limiting beliefs is essential for personal growth and success in every area of life. You are the architect of your life. You are capable of anything. It’s time to stop allowing limiting beliefs to hold you back.
EMOTIONS AND RELEASE
When you grow up, you don’t remember much about your childhood, but by observing our children, grandchildren, and nephews, we get an idea of how we spent our early years. We’ve noticed that when you’re a baby, you cry, tremble, and even throw tantrums. A mother can distinguish whether her baby is crying out of anger, sadness, joy, or fear. Normally, a baby cries until they are exhausted or until their basic needs are met. They cry to release their emotions, and this process works well when you’re little. Have you experienced this firsthand? With your children or your nephews? A young child, when they fall and get hurt, cries bitterly—this is a survival mechanism. And soon, you’ll see them playing again as if nothing happened. The same thing applies to their tantrums: they flail their arms and legs furiously, sometimes even hitting their mother, but after a while, once they get her attention, they recover, stabilize, and go back to playing as if nothing ever happened. What happens as they grow up? Adults are no longer willing to allow these behaviors to continue. They get tired of the child’s emotional release, so the child has to learn to hold back their tears, tantrums, and tremors. They have to be “grown-up,” to start experiencing emotions without frequently releasing them. And so, the disorders of adult life begin. All our lives, we are taught to repress our emotions… and most, if not all adults, eventually have to relearn how to release them. We become so anxious, angry, frustrated, or depressed that we find ourselves in need of professional help. And with a psychologist, we are finally given “permission” to feel the anger that has been forbidden for years and to talk about it. We are allowed to feel, to express the fears and sadness that, for so long, have brought us shame and a sense of prohibition. We learn once again how to handle emotional release, something we were born with. Normally, allowing ourselves to release emotions in a healthy way is a huge relief. Not only can we release the sadness, fears, and anger of our daily lives, but we are also letting go of childhood and adolescent traumas, wounds, and negative messages. In adulthood, we need more patience with our emotions as we release them. It is a long process, not as quick as it was in childhood. Alexander Lowen, an American psychoanalyst, spoke about this reality: “Look at a baby. When they are hungry, fall, get hurt, feel frustrated, or lonely, they cry… bitterly, with sobs. As a self-soothing mechanism, when the painful situation is over, they stop crying, return to a state of peace, and begin playing again.” Over time, babies learn not to cry. They hear phrases like:“Don’t cry, or I’ll give you a reason to cry.”“You’re a big kid now, stop crying.”And sometimes even worse insults. So, when we reach adulthood, we no longer see any valid reason to cry. The truth is, crying intensely, with sobs, releases tension from the body, clears the mind of negative thoughts, and relieves the heart of pain. It doesn’t just free us from daily stress but also has the power to release years of sadness and tension. Humans were created this way; we were born with this escape valve. So, we can allow ourselves to cry—alone or with someone else. We will feel a great sense of relief. Some people fear crying because they think they’ll never stop. But they will! The body relaxes, the mind clears, and the heart heals. Let’s cry with hope and courage!(Alexander Lowen, Bioenergetic Exercises, location 495) How can we learn to release emotions again? The first step is giving ourselves permission. It is okay to cry. This involves rejecting the prohibitions of our parents and grandparents, learning to disobey their unhealthy messages. A crucial step is surrounding ourselves with people who allow us to cry, tremble, and express anger. But the most important thing is our own permission, which is often the hardest to give. Some people say they can’t cry. Young children learn to hold back their tears by repressing their breathing. By starting to breathe deeply in moments of sadness, we can allow tears, sobs, and ultimately, relief. We must always remember that tears are not sadness but rather the release of sadness. If we don’t release our sadness, we end up with depression. Sometimes, we fear that if we start crying, we will never stop. That’s why we must release our fear of crying. Yes, we will be able to stop. The same applies to fear. Some people worry about cold sweats in their hands, thinking it signals a disorder. In reality, cold sweat is a natural response of the body to release fear—along with trembling and laughter. When we start to tremble, we get scared because it feels out of our control, but in reality, we are simply releasing fear. If we don’t release our fear, we end up with anxiety. So, we can give ourselves permission to tremble, sweat, and laugh. This way, we can face life’s challenges with more courage. What about anger? In many situations, expressing anger is not socially acceptable, especially for women. Many women cry instead of expressing anger. But this type of release can also be recovered. Hitting a pillow, the bed, writing or drawing our anger—these are ways to release anger without hurting anyone. Karate exercises are effective as well. After releasing anger, it becomes easier to decide what actions we can take in response to a particular situation. There are other ways our body naturally releases anger, such as hot sweat and laughter. Let’s remember that a tantrum is not anger itself—it is the release of anger. Relearning how to reconcile with our basic emotions As adults, we must relearn how to reconnect with our emotions. Emotional release is our friend. We can talk to our emotions, draw them, sing them, or dance them, depending on our inspiration at
Take Care of Yourself: A Guide to Self-Care
Self-care can be defined as all the actions we take for our own well-being. However, not all actions qualify as self-care—some may actually harm us instead. That’s why it’s important to evaluate the purpose behind our actions rather than just their appearance. When is an Action Considered Self-Care? ✔ Example of True Self-Care:If I exercise because I’m tired and need to relax, I choose an activity I enjoy, listen to my body’s limits, and appreciate the feeling afterward—this is a great example of self-care. ❌ Example of Harmful Behavior Disguised as Self-Care:If I exercise because I dislike my body, or I want to please my partner, and I push myself to exhaustion, then exercise is no longer self-care—it becomes self-punishment. 👉 The same action can either be self-care or the opposite. To determine whether something is truly self-care, ask yourself: 💡 Does it bring me a positive, rewarding experience?💡 Or does it feel like an obligation that leads to stress, guilt, or self-criticism? Another Example: Cooking ✔ Self-Care: I spend three hours in the kitchen because I enjoy trying a new recipe or want to explore different flavors. ❌ Compulsiveness: I spend three hours in the kitchen because I fear disappointing my guests or because my partner complains about eating the same food. 👉 Self-care comes from a place of self-respect, not obligation or fear. How to Start Practicing Self-Care? The key to self-care is learning to recognize your own needs and taking action to fulfill them. This is an act of self-respect and empathy toward yourself. You can follow these three simple steps: 1️⃣ Recognize (Discriminate): Identify signals that indicate a need (e.g., feeling lonely or overwhelmed).2️⃣ Respond: Take an action that directly addresses your need (e.g., making plans with friends or taking a break).3️⃣ Evaluate Consequences: After taking action, assess whether it had a positive outcome (e.g., feeling happy and recharged after spending time with loved ones). Self-Care vs. People-Pleasing True self-care emerges from recognizing our vulnerabilities and responding to them with kindness and awareness. However, if our actions are driven by external pressure, social expectations, or guilt, they stop being self-care and turn into self-imposed obligations or excessive perfectionism. 👉 Self-care is not about specific actions—it’s about how we approach life. Loving yourself starts with taking care of yourself. 💙
The Thin Line Between Sadness and Depression
“I don’t feel good, but I don’t feel bad either—I just feel empty.” This was the comment of one of my first patients. Feeling lost, unable to find joy in things that once brought happiness, and feeling misunderstood in a world that seems dark and suffocating—this is how depression can feel. Many people who seek therapy do so due to difficulty managing sadness. Society often fails to teach us how to handle sadness properly. However, like any other emotion, sadness is a natural part of being human and should not be seen as something inherently negative. Sadness vs. Depression: Understanding the Difference 🔹 Sadness is a normal emotion, just like joy, fear, or shame.🔹 It is a temporary reaction to a specific event, such as failing an exam, losing a job, or facing criticism.🔹 Grief and sadness are necessary for personal growth—they allow us to process painful experiences and adapt. However, when sadness becomes overwhelming, persistent, and affects daily functioning, it may indicate something deeper—depression. What is Depression? Depression is not just sadness. According to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), depressive disorders are characterized by: 🔸 A persistent low mood, sadness, or hopelessness for at least two weeks🔸 Loss of interest or pleasure in previously enjoyable activities (Anhedonia)🔸 Low energy or fatigue🔸 Changes in appetite (significant weight loss or gain)🔸 Insomnia or excessive sleeping (Hypersomnia)🔸 Difficulty concentrating or making decisions🔸 Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt🔸 Physical restlessness or slowed movement🔸 Suicidal thoughts or self-harm Depression can last for weeks, months, or even years if left untreated. Early recognition and intervention are crucial. The Key Differences Between Sadness and Depression 💔 Sadness is a temporary emotion in response to a situation.💔 Depression is persistent and affects daily life for weeks or months. 💡 Example: Losing a loved one causes grief, which is normal and necessary. But if the sadness deepens, becomes overwhelming, and prevents you from functioning, it may indicate depression. How Depression Affects Behavior People with depression may unconsciously develop coping mechanisms to avoid pain, such as: ⚠ Overloading themselves with activities to stay distracted⚠ Engaging in compulsive shopping or emotional eating⚠ Denying their problems and suppressing emotions Unfortunately, avoiding emotions does not solve the problem—instead, it accumulates distress until it becomes unbearable. ❗ If depression is left untreated, it can lead to severe consequences, including suicidal thoughts. Facing and Overcoming Depression While accepting depression is difficult, the most effective way to heal is to confront it. ✔ Therapy has been proven to be highly effective in treating depression.✔ Seeking help is not a sign of weakness—it’s an act of courage and self-care. Just as we see a doctor when we have physical pain, we should seek psychological support when we experience emotional pain. The Power of Therapy 🔹 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps change negative thoughts and behaviors.🔹 Humanistic Therapy focuses on self-awareness and emotional healing.🔹 Medication (if necessary) can help stabilize chemical imbalances under medical supervision. Your Mental Health Matters Your mental well-being is just as important as your physical health. Depression is not a choice, but seeking help is. 💙 If you or someone you love is struggling with depression, reach out for support today. 📩 Need Help? Contact Us:🔗 WhatsApp: Click Here to Chat📧 Email: info@adefagua.org 💙 You are not alone. Healing starts with a single step. 💙