What is a limiting belief?
A limiting belief is a thought or mental state that you perceive as absolute truth, preventing you from doing certain things. These beliefs don’t always have to be about yourself. They can be about how the world works, ideas, or how you interact with people. Overcoming limiting beliefs is not always easy.
They are deeply ingrained in us, often from childhood. But once you understand what they are and how to identify them, you can learn how to overcome them.
Where do limiting beliefs come from?
Your limiting beliefs come from many different sources.
To overcome limiting beliefs, we need to understand that their origins are diverse. They may stem from family beliefs, values, or behaviors, your educational environment (teachers, classmates), life experiences, or even the influence of dominant personalities among close friends.
How can you manage limiting beliefs?
There are many different approaches to addressing limiting beliefs. The well-known author Tony Robbins identifies four key steps to managing them:
1. IDENTIFY YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
The first step in overcoming limiting beliefs is to define and identify them. Limiting beliefs are ideas we hold about ourselves and the world that prevent us from becoming the best version of ourselves.
They generally fall into four categories:
- LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT THE WORLD
These are beliefs about “how things are” and the assumption that your circumstances are beyond your control. A common limiting belief is lack of time. Other limiting beliefs about the world include denial, such as “True love doesn’t exist” or “Fulfilling careers are impossible to find.” Changing these beliefs is one of the hardest things to do, but once you do, you’ll unlock unimaginable possibilities.
- LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE
Limiting beliefs about others involve worrying about what people think of you. The underlying belief behind social anxiety is often: “People will think I am X.”
Perfectionism also stems from this type of limiting belief—the belief that others will be disappointed in you or won’t love you if you don’t act a certain way.
- LIMITING BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF
Unlike worrying about others’ opinions, self-limiting beliefs occur when you believe you are inherently incompetent, unintelligent, or unworthy of love.
Other common limiting beliefs about yourself include thinking you’re too old, too unattractive, or incapable of learning new skills. None of these are facts. They are simply the story you tell yourself—and you can change it.
- EMPOWERING BELIEFS
Would it surprise you to learn that some limiting beliefs feel empowering?
Believing that the world owes you something, that you are better than others, or that people simply don’t “understand” you are often excuses to avoid growth and stay in your comfort zone.
2. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
The #1 reason people fail to achieve their goals is because they don’t take full responsibility for their actions.
They choose to believe that their circumstances are beyond their control, that things just happen to them.
This is called external locus of control, and it is, in itself, a limiting belief. To learn how to overcome your limiting beliefs, you must develop an internal locus of control—the belief that things in life happen for you, not to you. Ultimately, your own behavior determines your destiny.
Life is full of events beyond our control, but what we can control is how we react to them.
We can master our emotions, learn from failures, make smarter decisions, and work toward our goals—no matter what happens.
3. LET GO OF CERTAINTY
Why is it so hard to overcome limiting beliefs?
Because we all crave certainty. It is one of the Six Core Human Needs (the others being: variety/uncertainty, significance, love/connection, growth/development, and contribution).
A little certainty brings comfort and stability to our lives. But it can also hold you back.
Certainty is what stops you from quitting the job you hate.
It is what keeps you in unhealthy relationships—whether with a partner, friends, or even family.
It is why you never took that trip to Africa or wrote that novel.
Certainty kills dreams, and limiting beliefs are its best friend.
Instead of focusing on what you’ll never do, dream big. Use the Rocking Chair Test:
“When you’re old and gray, looking back on your life, what will you regret the most?”
That is a powerful motivator to overcome limiting beliefs.
4. CHANGE YOUR INNER DIALOGUE
Your limiting beliefs often exist deep in your subconscious, but more often than not, it’s negative self-talk that convinces you why you can’t, won’t, or shouldn’t do something.
Self-talk is constant, and the more we tell ourselves something, the more we believe it.
Humans have thousands—perhaps even tens of thousands—of thoughts every day. If even a small percentage of them involve limiting beliefs, that’s a constant stream of negative messaging running through your mind.
How to change your inner dialogue:
- Write down your negative thoughts and identify recurring patterns—these are your limiting beliefs.
- Make a conscious effort to detect, stop, and replace them with more empowering thoughts.
Final Thoughts
Learning to get rid of limiting beliefs is essential for personal growth and success in every area of life.
You are the architect of your life.
You are capable of anything.
It’s time to stop allowing limiting beliefs to hold you back.